The Importance of Values

It is perhaps widely agreed that society has been changing ever more rapidly. The values that once kept the social fabric cohesive and in some measure of balance seem to be wearing thin and weakening. Are we simply transforming as a society in order to reach a new equilibrium, or are we slipping into imbalance?

In a society driven at the speed of the internet, captive to the trends dictated by the media, there seems to be little room for reflecting on personal values. The immediacy the internet affords, the sheer variety of digital entertainment on offer (films, series, videos, games, and so on), the uninterrupted stream of news bulletins, and the like, inevitably force an accelerated processing of information and, as a consequence, a drift towards superficiality. More information has to be covered in less time, so there is no time to go deeper, to reflect, to think critically. There is no time to think about Values and their importance.

"Word of honour" — I often heard my grandfather say it. Giving one's "word" was enough to seal a commitment in those days. Yes, times change, but must we really give up values that once served us well merely to join modernity? Is this the modernity we aspire to? Have we reflected on it, or are we simply letting ourselves be carried along by the current?

In my clinical practice I see how the absence of genuine, deep questioning about values leads to an inner loss of bearings — and, adrift, we sail from distraction to distraction, moving ever further from firm ground.

True relationships, enriching careers, financial security and inner peace are only possible when we live in alignment with our values — that is, with integrity.

Integrity arises when what we think and what we do accord with our core values. But how can we act with integrity if we have never asked ourselves which values matter to us?

When we live in the absence of personal values, we end up behaving and thinking the way others think or act. The unique authenticity we possess is lost, and we build a life that serves someone else's values.

Without strong personal values, grounded in deep personal reflection, it is easy to succumb to distractions and dependencies, devoting time and money to things that do not, in truth, fulfil us.

Education and today's society do not always provide fertile ground for reflection and critical thinking. At school, teaching is heavily geared towards memorising facts rather than towards personal reflection and creativity. In society — on social media in particular — merely questioning certain areas can be branded hate speech. There is a certain constraint on thinking freely, and that can be a significant obstacle to finding and expressing one's own unique personal values.

A few questions can help you determine which values matter to you:

• Which qualities do you admire in your closest friends?
• Which values do you hold that exist, or once existed, in your family?
• What would you like to see written in the biography of your life?

And finally:

What is, for you, a life well lived?

Unhurriedly and deeply, try to meditate on this question.

Each of us will have different answers, and they may include a life of love, contribution, presence, solidarity, truth, empathy, justice, honesty, ethics, compassion, respect, freedom, responsibility, honour, kindness, gratitude, trust, peace, harmony, joy, friendship, authenticity, clarity, courage, wisdom, forgiveness, hope, faith, and so on.

Once you have identified the values that best define you, summon the courage to express those values in everyday life. Society is not what social media writes or what television says — society is all of us. What you do, what you express, what you are constitutes the legacy each of us leaves on this planet. What values shall we leave to the generations to come?